• Nicole DiRocco

Design Your Vision For Love


I’m always curious about people who say they’ll know when the person they’re looking for in love shows up. Beyond this, they’re not able to articulate the essential qualities or what life with this person would look like. Perhaps this is why they keep going on first dates and fewer second and third dates.

Designing a vision of what you want in your life is the first step to manifesting what it is you desire whether it’s in work, a home, a vacation or retirement.

But, do you know how to design your vision for love?

Consider a vision board as a tool that many use to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal.


If someone asked you to find a potential partner for him or her, who would you be able to find most easily? It would be the potential partner defined most clearly and with specific attributes, of course.

Take time to reflect on what your ideal partner looks like. Many of the things you need can’t be put on an online dating profile because they’re hard to measure. It will be so much easier, though, after you’ve had three dates with him to glean whether he has the essential qualities you need in a partner.

Don’t get caught up in a generating a checklist. Designing a vision gives you clarity on the essential (must have) qualities that you need and important (nice to have) qualities that you want in a partner.


Note the difference between need and want. Need is linked to your essential qualities, which are tied to your values, whereas want is linked to your nice to have qualities.

Here are three steps to designing your vision for love:

1. Go through your list of good friends' husbands who you hold in high regard, as well as, men you know who have the qualities you admire.


Is he a good listener, honest, gentle? It will be his character qualities like kind, compassionate that your vision should capture versus surface traits like being a good dancer or height requirements of 6’ to 6’3.

2. Include your nonnegotiables. What won’t you tolerate? You know, the critical stuff like lying, cheating, smoking versus balding and no university degree.

3. It’s important to keep in mind that the qualities you seek may not show up in the way you would expect.


For example, if being generous is a quality that’s essential to you, it may be that the man doesn’t have a lot of money to give, but, his currency is service to others. In other words, be open to how generosity reveals itself in the man’s life and, in the example, his generosity is that he gives in service to others.

Writing down what matters to you takes courage. Lots of people are afraid to ask for what they want in life. If you don't draw your vision for what you want, how will you fulfill your heart's desire?

Finally, you have to believe that the man who aligns with your vision and meets your essential qualities is out there. Having faith and being an active participant in finding him is paramount to manifesting your vision for love.

What have you done to design your vision for love? Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.

#relationshipcoach #datingcoach #datingafterdivorce #singlewomenover40 #visionforlove #midlifedating

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Nicole DiRocco, ACC

Relationship Coach

© 2020 by Nicole DiRocco, LLC

Tel: 214-676-4453

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