5 Ways to Improve Your Love Life This Year
Today I threw out my favorite sweater.
I said thank you for the good times and released it.
It may sound dramatic, but, this sweater meant a lot to me.
I bought it at a vintage clothing store shortly after I moved to Dallas in the early 1990s.
It was my favorite color, too – pink.
I loved this sweater. I wore it until it literally started falling apart.
The timing of its ceremonious exit from my drawer into the trash is not coincidental.
With the new year starting, I got to thinking about ways of being that are no longer serving me.
What way of being is no longer serving you?
A way of being might be not putting yourself out there to date so you can find the right relationship.
A way of being might be creating excuses like work, kids or, “There are no good men,” for why you’ve not been dating.
If you want to improve your love life in the new year, these five ways will kick start it in the right direction.
1. Focus on the kind of life you want to create this year.
The key to having a great love life is to have a great life in the first place.
Discover what brings you joy. What are you passionate about? Is it painting, biking, collecting art or something else? I am a firm believer that when you do things that bring you joy, you attract joy.
2. Get crystal clear on the values and qualities you want in a partner.
When I ask women what they want their love life to look like, the answer I often hear is everything they don’t want. The problem with this is what we focus on is what shows up.
The values exercise that my clients use to narrow down their top five values is very effective. You want to be clear on exactly what qualities in a man will make you happy if you want to attract him into your life this year.
3. Create a Dating Blueprint to find the right man for you in 2020!
Most women rely on only one way to meet men. This becomes frustrating and is the reason you need to diversify your dating portfolio. Below are three options to choose from when you’re designing your Dating Blueprint.
Make sure you’re using at least two at all times to create opportunities for meeting the right man and improve your love life.
Online Dating (It is the #1 way people 50+ meet today. The most men are here, but you need to have amazing pictures and a great profile to attract them.)
Meeting Men Offline (You get to see a man’s face along with his personality, which gives you a better picture of who he really is.)
Dating Fairy Godmothers (These are your friends who can fix you up. Paint the picture of the man you want to meet so they know the values and qualities for which you’re looking.)
4. Don’t let rejection set you back
Your ego will take a constant hit if you take rejection personally. The ultimate reason a man disappears is that you don’t fit the picture of who he thinks he wants. (A woman’s reason for disappearing is the same).
A way to stave off the sting of not being asked for a second or third date is to adopt the mantra – when you feel like you’re being rejected, you’re only being re-directed.
5. Stop making excuses for not dating
None of us get better at dating and relationships sitting on the sidelines thinking about it. You have to take action. When a woman tells me she’s too busy to date, what she’s really telling me is, “I’m afraid to date.” or “I’m afraid I’ll never find the right guy, so why bother?”
When we really want something in our lives, and we feel we can get it, we go after it. We don’t let fear stop us. Fear of dating comes from not knowing what your next step is.
Once you have the tools and support you need, the fear disappears. You feel you can now attain what you want most and improve your love life. That’s why I’m passionate about supporting women who are ready to breakthrough their fears and open their hearts to love.
Farewell to the ways of being that are no longer serving you.
Farewell my favorite sweater.
Thank you for 25 years of helping me own that I’m a creature of comfort.
Luckily, I saw they started selling those sweaters again at the vintage clothing store.
I hope they have it in pink …
This article first appeared in PRiME Women.