I get it - you’re tired of failed relationships.
You’re tired of always going on a first date, but, never a second and third.
Each time you meet a new man - it’s the same cycle:
he finds your online profile or you find his, there’s email exchange followed by a phone call and then setting up a date to meet in person.
All the while, you’ve been building up rapport with someone in the hopes he might possibly be your last first date.
Then there’s crickets. Nothing. He doesn’t call again for a second date.
It’s hard not to take things personally. Each painful experience will reinforce beliefs that dating is hard, there are no good men out there and you’re running out of time.
If you believe that dating is hard, exhausting and unfulfilling, consider that it will perpetuate the cycle of dismal experiences. From this belief, you will attract men and dates that aren’t right for you, miss red flags, and feel skeptical about ever finding true love.
You’re in a dating rut.
If this is you, it’s time to take a break from dating. Call it a dating fast.
If you’re looking to meet the right man instead of first being the right woman, this is the place to start.
Here are five things you can do to make dating easier and get out of a rut:
1. Be the victor. Victims blame by asking, "Why is this happening to me?" Victors take responsibility by asking, "Why is this happening for me?" Whether it may seem like it or not, everything is happening for your greater good, especially your difficulties in dating and love.
They occur so that you can learn, grow and become an even better version of yourself. When you are an even better version of you, you attract men who are better suited for you.
2. Challenge, change and transform. Challenge your beliefs, change your perception and transform your reality. Your dating life is first created in your mind and reflected outward.
Perhaps you believe, "People hide behind their online dating profiles and aren't who they say they are when I meet them." While there are people who aren't who they say they are, there are also genuine people who show up the way they portray themselves to be.
When you start focusing your attention on "genuine people" instead of "people aren't who they say they are", "genuine people" will show up in your dating life.
3. Listen to yourself. Don't ask your friends and family for advice. They will tell you what you should do based on who they are and their experiences in their own love life. The answers are within you. Overthinking will stop you from listening to yourself. Trust your intuition.
4. Lead with your feminine. Gentlemen prefer ladies. If you want to be treated with kindness and respect, be a lady. Respond instead of initiating. Let a man court you. Know when to give and when to receive.
5. Make wise choices. Don't get derailed from love by choosing to date men with red flags because it will take more time, effort and energy to get back on track. Make wise choices that keep you on track to the love you desire. Knowing what you want and keeping your eyes on your vision of love will help you make wise choices.
You can create the kind of dating experience you'd like despite your age and length of time you've been dating. If you change what’s happening inside of you - your experience in dating will change, too.
How have you handled being in a dating rut? Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.