Should You Continue to Date Him? Consider These 2 Questions First


You’re dating a man and on the fence about whether to keep dating him or let him go.

It may be that he doesn’t have the exact qualities that you want in a partner.

Or, perhaps he’s exhibited behaviors that are misaligned to valuing a woman.

The first rule of being loving is to be loving to yourself.

If you tolerate lies, abuse and betrayal, you’re basically abusing yourself. Stop it, and show him the door immediately. This is not a time for compromise. It’s a time for protecting and honoring yourself, because the world needs you to be the most capable, radiant version of yourself.

Absent abusive behavior, when you find yourself doubting whether you should continue dating a man, check in with yourself by asking these two questions. Self-awareness is key in this kind of dilemma.

1. How close or far away is he from my ideal?

Picture your ideal man and how you want to feel with him. If you’re able to gauge within 70% of 100% that he meets your ideal and you feel the way you imagined, keep dating him.

Why? Because there’s always room for growth. This is not to imply that he’s your forever man. By continuing to date him you’ll be able determine if he’s your long-term match.

2. Is he a mirror for anything in me?

What do I think is bad, wrong or too much with him? Make a list of things you think are bad, wrong or too much.

Be honest with yourself and ask,

“Is this a mirror for anything inside of me?

Is this a disowned part of me that I need to really love?

Does this bother me because it reminds me of my mother or father?”

Conversely, you need to ask, “What’s missing in him?” Probe what’s not there.

For the qualities missing in him, ask “Do I have these qualities or mindset around what I think is missing?”

For example, if you want a man who’s fit, do you have a certain level of fitness? Are you healthy in your mind around eating? Or, are you dealing with an eating disorder?

A woman will say that she wants to meet a man who’s successful and wealthy, for example; but, she’s neither successful or wealthy. It’s not that she needs to have money, but, she does need to have an abundance and success mindset.

You’re looking for a mindset match. Are you matched in your being?

If you can say, “No, I’m not.” Or, “The reasons I’m annoyed by this is because it reminds me about something about my mother”, keep dating him.

When you have the awareness you can clear that pattern and, then if you’re not suppose to be with him, it’ll be clear. If you don’t use the current man you’re with to grow you stay stuck in the same position.

Every person who comes your way is bringing you something. Are you aware? Are you looking for what they’re bringing you or are you discounting them because they’re not bringing you exactly the qualities that you think you need?

The truth is that if you’re dating men who aren’t bringing all the qualities you think you need, the only reason would be because of something within you. Either something you’re not owning, something that’s blocked or; something inside of yourself that you need to actually amplify.

Before breaking it off with the man you’re dating, get the growth because then you’ve grown your being. In this way, you’re actually more attractive to the kind of men you say you want. If you don’t do this, then you keep attracting the same kind of men.

Where have you grown from your dating relationships? Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.

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Nicole DiRocco, ACC

Relationship Coach

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Tel: 214-676-4453

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