A New Way to Think About Holidating: 4 Tips to Help You Thrive During Holidays
The holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year, yet for many, they trigger deep feelings of sadness and anxiety. Being single and not partnered up can be especially hard; but relief is on the way. While jumping back into the dating pool around the holidays may not seem like an ideal situation, there's no wrong time to get your dating groove on.
Planning holiday activities might’ve been fun and easy in the past, but as we weather the Coronavirus pandemic, coming up with ideas now poses some challenges. Depending on where you live and what phase of reopening your area is in, it may be time to get creative—while also prioritizing your safety and comfort.
These four tips will help you sidestep all the mental drama associated with being single over the holidays. Because in holidating you just never know when or where you may meet your match.
1. Be sociable
Start planning your social calendar now. This means calling all your single friends and buddy up with those who have been in your "pandemic pod" - those with whom you've been spending time during the pandemic. Make an intention that you’re not going to go down the ‘woe is me’ rabbit hole this year. You’re going to be active socially.
Accept every virtual invitation you receive.
Even if it means skipping a rerun of “Elf”, commit to showing up on Zoom.
Order a pumpkin spice latte at the coffee shop and, without ear plugs in or head down in your phone, have a seat, smile and people watch.
If you happen to notice a handsome man, use your womanly powers to catch his eye with your flirty five second gaze.
If he’s interested, he knows it’s safe to approach you. If he doesn’t, he’s either married, swings for the other side or you’re just not his type and that’s ok because there will always be another.
2. Take care of your own temple - your body
Eat well, drink plenty of water, hit the gym and then be merry. Instead of making one more feeble New Year's resolution to join a gym or take a spin class, do it now. Start a new work out routine: get on the treadmill or stair stepper; join a virtual yoga class so that you can release that negative energy to get back in balance.
You will be amazed at how just the littlest bit of movement will lift your spirits and how reducing the amount of junk food, sugar and alcohol will reduce your blues. And sleep — do whatever it takes to get enough of it.
Leverage the law of proximity because this is yet another way to meet a potential match. Men still go to the gym during the holidays.
3. Get into gratitude
Focus on what’s good this holiday season. Start to notice everything in your environment for which you’re grateful: your bed, your sheets, the fact that you woke up and get to be here for another day. Be grateful for your friends, family, your health, for the clothes you have, for getting that manicure.
The simplest things in life can raise your vibration. The higher your vibration, the easier it is to attract positive experiences. So, have an attitude of gratitude this holiday season.
Help others not because you should, but because it is the best antidote to self-pity and seasonal sadness. Find someone who is struggling more than you are, lend them a helping hand, and remember the real meaning of the holidays. Volunteering at the food bank may create an opportunity to meet a quality man who places a high value on giving back.
4. Party with a purpose
Host a virtual party and invite everyone in your building - even if you don’t know them. Put flyers all around and ask everyone to bring a friend.
Create a theme and make it fun. This will raise your vibration by planning the party and at the party. Paint and sip nights are a ton of fun, but there's no reason you can't recreate the magic by DIYing one virtually at home.
Stock up on a few canvases and paint supplies, then choose a picture you want to paint together. Then, pour yourselves a glass of wine and get to creating.
Do your best to show up exuding confidence, even if it is virtual and you’re nervous. Showing approachability, friendliness, and interest will create a positive first impression.
Who knows? You might meet the dapper man with the warm smile who lives down the hall in the virtual break out room on Zoom.
At the holidays, take a deep breath; fill your date card if and when it feels good to you, not because you’re feeling lonely. If you need to take a break from dating, that’s fine.
There are no rules, other than to fall in love with yourself first. It’s the best place to be to start any new relationship.