6 Easy Ways to Get A Man to Approach You Like the Smart, Successful Woman That You Are


What makes a woman approachable?


On paper - you’re amazing: educated, accomplished, independent, attractive and have a great job. So, why aren’t men approaching you in Starbucks, the grocery store or the bookstore?

It’s because you may be creating an impression that you don't want to be bothered. If this is the case, he will never make his way toward you. The biggest fear a man has with a woman is rejection.

Every once in a while there’s a super confident man who will take the initiative to approach a woman he finds appealing. The vast majority won’t, though. Not only does a man need lots of encouragement in dating, before you get to the date, he needs to be encouraged to approach you.

Here are six tried and true tips to get a man to approach you:

1. Appearance Matters - it’s just a fact that will never change: a man is visual and he must first find you attractive to approach. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a runway model or Halle Berry.

Each man has a different sense of attractiveness just as you do for what you find attractive in a man. That being said, it does mean that being presentable with hair combed and neat clothes will go a lot further than being in sweats and your hair tucked under a baseball cap.

2. Don’t Busy Yourself - put the phone, iPad or book down. Take out the ear plugs. Technology is the nemesis to people saying a simple hello.

I hear from men often that women don’t seem approachable when they’re engrossed in texting or on their lap top with ear plugs in. A man will not want to interrupt, so, he’ll move on.

3. Smile - it’s the universal symbol of warmth and happiness. You look friendlier which means you’ll appear more approachable. Be aware of looking uptight and like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. It comes across as aloof and distant.

4. Make Eye Contact - if you spot a man who catches your eye, make eye contact and hold for six seconds. I know six seconds may seem like an eternity, but, count to six because he needs to know you’re interested. Immediately glancing away when he looks up won’t convey what you want which is that you’re open to meeting him. 5. Use body language to your advantage - 7% of communication is verbal making 93% nonverbal body language. If your arms are crossed, it signals to others, "Stay away. I'm closed off." If, though, your posture is good and your shoulders are back, opening up your frame, it reflects that you're open.

6. Make It Easier - if you’re in tow with your girlfriends, be assured a man will not approach you because it's intimidating. You have to make it easier for him by either being by yourself or with one other girlfriend.

If after all the above, he doesn’t approach you, he’s either married, involved with someone else, of another sexual orientation or you’re just not his type. And, if you’re not his type - it’s not personal. You may have blonde hair and he prefers brunettes. Next!

When will you start experimenting with being more approachable? Commit to trying out these tips once this week. Next week try it two times and the following week three times. The more you practice with anything the better you get.

Let me know how your experiment with being more approachable is working. Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.

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Nicole DiRocco, ACC

Relationship Coach

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