Do These Two Things to Find Your Heart's Desire
You say you want a committed relationship.
You’re tired of being single. There’s nothing wrong with being single.
After all, it’s not a disease - it’s just your relationship status and you know this.
You have a great life. You’re grateful for the abundance you have in health, family, friends, career and past times.
But, you know life would be richer if there was a +1.
You tell your girlfriends, your family - maybe even some of your co-workers that you’d like to meet a guy who wants a committed relationship, too. Not just a Saturday night date.
Despite all this, is your intention and behavior to have a committed relationship in alignment?
There are two things that a woman does first when she is intent on having a committed relationship.
1. She keeps her word to herself.
When you decide that you want to be married or in a committed relationship - own it. Accept the intention and keep your word to yourself that you’re going to do whatever it takes to have a committed relationship.
That means you can’t go back on your word and make exceptions. You can’t do things that go against your initial intention because you’ll detour - taking you much longer to get back on track. It also sends mixed messages.
It means being willing to do whatever it takes like letting go of the guys who are nice, respectful, good company and with whom you have no spark. You know - the casual Saturday night date guy.
To be more specific, if you haven’t called him your boyfriend, integrated him into your life, said you loved him, or escalated the intensity of the relationship in the past four months and have no interest in stepping things up - you’re just not that into him.
Or, letting go of the guy who doesn’t want a committed relationship in order to create a space for the man who does.
If you’re not willing to get rid of the wrong man, you won’t find the right man.
This isn’t my OPINION. This is a FACT.
Every second you invest into holding onto the “potential” of these nice to have around or commitment phobic guys is a second that you’re NOT out finding the man who DOES want to commit.
If you’re looking for a long-term committed relationship, it doesn’t matter how cute he is, how smart he is, how funny he is, how rich he is, or how great the sex is.
The first stage of commitment - if you want a relationship - is that you have to understand how commitment works. At the base, it starts with you.
How good are you at keeping your word to yourself?
2. Her behavior matches her intention.
Your behavior needs to demonstrate to men you date and everybody else that you’re preparing your life to have love in it.
Translated, this means you aren’t going to do things that aren’t supporting that. It means you’re not out partying all night and engaging in casual sex.
It also means you’re not distancing yourself from a guy and only making yourself available in small doses.
These are behaviors that don’t serve you well. So, ask yourself, “Would I do this if I was in a committed relationship right now?”
There’s an old saying, “Act as if.”
Act as if you’re already in a committed relationship.
When you do this the behaviors that go with being in a committed relationship will reveal themselves.
Are you willing to do these two things first to have the committed relationship you desire?
Post a comment below and I’ll meet you there.