What Men REALLY Want From Women
Part of the work I do with my clients centers on attracting more of the right type of man for them by knowing their core needs and values.
A client will work through a values exercise to get laser focused on what’s most important to her.
If you know what your core needs and values are, you will quickly know when someone has a non-negotiable for you.
Hence, the reason the values exercise is so far-reaching. In this way you’ll spend less time with the wrong person and more time with the right person.
What you must understand about men is that they don’t spend near the amount of time that women do on identifying their core needs and values to get clear on their most aligned partner.
Or, making lists, for that matter.
How do I know this?
Because not only have I spent years studying how men and women communicate, what motivates each and understanding each other’s basic needs, I’ve listened to scores of panels of men that state the same.
To take it a step further, a recent conversation with a ‘historical’ friend confirmed this fact. (We have a long history going back to our college days which is why I call him my ‘historical’ friend).
I can safely share with you the two questions that a man considers when he meets a woman. When he is able to answer both questions in the affirmative, he will come back for a second date.
1. Is she physically attractive to me?
Translated: does he want to have sex with you?
2. Is she fun and easygoing?
Translated: does he feel relaxed and that he can be himself in your presence?
Warmth, affection, fun, nurturing equals lightness to him.
That’s it. Straightforward - just like a man.
Before you get your feathers ruffled about how shallow these may seem, let me assure you that a man does appreciate your intelligence and your passions. He is singularly focused on how he FEELS with you, however and this is what keeps him coming back.
Your attractiveness makes him FEEL like he conquered and won the prize with you. That, in turn, makes him feel confident - like he can show you off to his friends and others.
Your ability to go with the flow and have fun makes him FEEL like he wants to be around you all the time. He’s in constant competition with other men, so, to get this relaxed feeling from a woman to whom he is attracted is what seals the deal.
Another way to look at this:
If you go on a date straight from work dressed in your business suit and all tensed up after a challenging conference call, you’re likely not radiating lightness and fun.
Or, if he’s ten minutes late, are your lips pursed together when he arrived and, somehow you couldn’t get over it for the rest of the evening? Not easygoing.
Here’s the thing: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There’s no way to change that.
Relaxing and letting go: that can be changed. That’s what I do as a dating and relationship coach. Because there are lots of amazing women who have the potential to be great girlfriends but accidentally sabotage themselves.
You are an amazing catch - let there be no doubt. When you fully understand why men choose to stay around, your self-awareness of the energy or vibe you're putting out creates all sorts of new possibilities. It starts with understanding men.
Here's to being your most self-confident, self-aware attractive version of you!
How are you showing up? Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.